#9: Tonight's W0rd: Music (What Stephen Really Would've Said)

Colbertcon '08, As Advertised in E&P

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Posted by: juniorteepee Original: 2/3/2007 9:35 PM Views: 21 Comments: 1 eProps: 2 Read Comments Post a Comment Back to Your Xanga Site

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Saturday, February 03, 2007

#9: Tonight's W0rd: Music (What Stephen Really Would've Said)

Nonsense BS!Tiffy speak
Ironic counterpoint!Tiffy speak

    I guess you'd Say... What can make me feel this way? YouTube (YouTube, YouTube), talking 'bout YouTube (YouTube!) I've got so much anger the bitches envy me. I've got a sweeter swear than the turds in the trees.

    Didn't you know The Temptations had a new song? And that brings us to tonight's word: Music.

    Today begins the Viacom-YouTube Great Purge of '07!
    AKA Viacom PMS Day
    YouTube is removing as many clips copyrighted to Viacom as it can, and this includes clips owned by Comedy Central.
    Vigilant corporate overlords are finally getting out of bed.
    Well, folks, the music industry must be taking a pounding by this!
    Let me tell you why. The music industry has been attacking mass Internet downloads since 2000.
    Turn of millennium made them insecure
    The percentage of illegal music downloads has significantly decreased since then. Thereafter, the music industry's overall revenues have plummeted.
    Kind of like Britney's chest
    Now Viacom is taking those very tactics to destroy their shows' ratings and viewer numbers.
    You mean that was her stomach?
    Hurrah, Viacom.
    Viacong
    Avid Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert fans are reacting violently to the latest purge. One under the name of Puddly went so far as to say, "Fuck you, Viacom."
    Viacom said, "No."
    In reality, they're all overreacting.
    Reacting to reality
    Think about it, if Viacom takes off ALL Daily Show and Colbert Report clips, the respective fanbases will move onto Viacom's next best thing, which just so happens to be... nothing.
    Or The OC
    What more do you want folks?
    Those clips back on YouTube?
    Viacom has already nicely implied through vaguely arbitrary means that it wants viewers to watch those clips on Comedy Central's Motherload, where its corporate supporters can implant bugs to replay their advertisements over and over again before viewers can watch the actual video! WHAT MORE COULD YOU WANT!
    Viacom on Notice?
    Just because you're poor and don't have cable doesn't mean you can freeload off YouTube.
    YouTooPoor
    Wait.. if Viacom owns nearly everything on TV, doesn't that mean it owns itself?
    Pwnage!
    Well, I just can't wait until Viacom takes itself off the air because that'll be music to my ears. And that's the word.

Bite me, Viacom. The wikiality has spoken.